burning memories but not bridges

I spent that past 5 days at camp. It was exhausting. I guess I'm just not used to the 14 or so hour days they run around there. I've gotten soft in my month of eight hour shifts with government regulated breaks.

Unfortunately I'm rather forgetful and didn't take any pictures throughout my time there.

Within hours of getting there i was placed 'on call' that means if anything goes wrong i deal with it/get blamed for it. Then I'm told I'm on call for the entire weekend because Jenni who is regularly the in charge person is going away for the weekend... I thought they only did that when there was no other option

The title of this post come from a sheet of paper that we all wrote our memories down on at the end of the summer. I used it as a fire starter one of the nights and thus the burning memories. And even though i listened to 'songs to burn your bridges by' I didn't burn any bridges and would still be able to go back there without feeling like i shouldn't be there.

The first few days were filled with a high school group we we ran open activities for and had lots of fun with them. Some of them were former staff and thus we could have even more good times.
The grade 12s were forced to do the killer beam as part of their leadership development. I called it the four seasons killer beam -not because it had any thing to do with that branch of hotels (i think) but that fall winter summer and spring were all experienced. It was fairly nice then it rained then hailed and then rained again and then the sun came out. it was odd.
The rest of the two days went really well. I was exhausted at the end of each day, but looked foward to the next one...
Friday morning the high schoolers left along with the camp cook and my the person who usually is 'on call'. then arrived the cadets... after watching the cadets in their ranks and their officers throughout the weekend i have determined that i could last a full 6 minutes in the army or navy.
They were a lot of fun however and the weekend went well.
My favourite memories include the reciting of the naval prayer which was very moving to me. It was a great pleasure to see about fifty cadets bow their heads and thank God for protecting them and ask them to continue protecting them the queen and their ships etc. all in ' the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ.'

And my other favourite memory was when I fed some of the cadets spreadable edible oil product (whipped cream) off the spatula whilst they were standing in ranks...
i needed to get rid of the extra whipped cream so i decided to see if they wanted any..and with the permission of the officers i gave it out....which led to one of the best quotes I've heard in my entire life
"eat your whipped cream in silence!!!"

all told the time at camp was fun filled and well worth doing ...i was blessed with seeing old friends again and many of my favourite meals and general good times...
any way off to eat my waffles which i had forgotten about until now...
-luKe

When My Time Comes... And Other Confessions

I remember I once wrote a post about 'the death holiday.' It seems so very long ago that February brought its cold and Valentine's. What seems like an eternity has passed since then; since the days of my posting at least twice a week, camp has come and gone, decisions have been made, battles lost and won, and now I'm back with constant Internet access and time enough to blog.
This past week went by rather quickly it seems like just yesterday I was tie shopping enjoying my Sunday off
The week before however...dragged by. Maybe it was because it was payday on the Friday and I was planning on buying stuff like a laptop but it was slow.
During that week I watched a fair amount of t.v. A friend borrowed me season one of 'dead like me.' It's about a girl that gets hit by a toilet seat from a space station and dies and some how becomes a grim reaper taking souls from people just before they die. It has many interesting things to say about the after life and what said life entails. It is an amusing show. I don't want to debate the ethics of the show but watching it i started thinking more about the after life.
As Christians we believe that our life after death is going to be an eternity of worshiping Christ.
Or concept of heaven is slightly obscured -now we see through a dim glass and all that - and sometimes I and people i know get the idea of singing songs and essentially having church for all of eternity.
I don't feel that's accurate.
For one thing God is there, God is also in church but we are more truly in Gods presence there and its continuous, eternal even.
What really gives me hope is that there is no more sorrow, sin or shame. No more sadness...tears maybe but no more sadness...
I wont need to worry about, laptops and cell phones and the things I've done wrong. I will feel no regret, or guilt just love...
I will spend forever feeling loved...
That's what I hope heaven will be like
no fear, no hate, no worry, no frustration,
There has been a few select moments in my life, when I felt I was truly worshipping.
I find it hard to truly worship in the context of music in church because of who i am, both as a musician and someone who is conscious of what other people are doing and thinking. Whether I'm evaluating the stage presence of the band or worrying about something in my life, Un-confessed sin or a current problem or watching the drummer thinking if I could do better or watching other people or wondering what said other people are thinking of me- i can rarely let everything go and truly be in Gods presence... so when it happens its usually fairly memorable. Those to me are little snap shots of what the after life will be for me. Perfect peace and comfort without the regret of a past summer, fear of the coming winter, anticipation of the approaching spring or the worry of the fall...

I'll leave you with;
A welcome to share thoughts you may have on the subject
Apologies for my thoughts being rather disordered
A favourite verse of mine concerning heaven

Revelation 21:25
In the daytime (for there will be no night there) its gates will never be closed;

-luKe

memories

This is a poem I wrote after camp was over, it was written over the coarse of a week or two. I kept adding to it cause I remembered different things.
I'll probably keep remembering things to put in the poem long after its published or posted in this case

If any one knows what I'm talking about when I say some of these things let me know

I Remember...

I remember staying up late
I remember mistakes
will I ever learn to see my failures as gains?
I can remember my aches and pains
I remember doing wrong...
I remember listening to my favourite song

I remember
laughter and tears
love and hate
fear and freedom
God and how to get out of a large cardboard box
frustration and friends
peace and war
confusion and understanding

I remember writing down memories
and things I was learning
I think of times where I felt close to God
It helps to know that I am loved

I laugh at many jokes, but can never forget when I was close to tears
I remember fire as a reoccurring theme

I look back at my anger and then my sadness
I try not to dwell on the tears in the past
but to remember the times when I smiled, laughed
and felt I was truly where I belong
I remember feeling wanted and loved.

I remember singing off key and not remembering the words
I think about true worship and not caring what others were doing or thinking

I remember conversations about life
I remember love for God

I remember early mornings and long days
I remember having fun all the day long

I remember seeing people in pain
I remember wanting to but being unable to do anything

I remember teaching and learning at the same time
using what I learned to teach others

I remember swearing never again
then I remember doing what I swore not to do

I remember swearing
I remember being frustrated
I also remember being able to talk to people

I remember I hurt people
and people hurt me
sometimes unintentionally
and others intentionally

I remember reminiscing
I thought I was in love

I remember my view of people changing
I would no longer look at them as though they never screw up

I remember realizing that not every one sees life as I do
I remember thinking about how people viewed me
I remember what I wanted to be viewed as

I remember seeing peoples hearts
I rember wanting their love
I remember getting small glimpses of the love God has for usI remember people telling me they would rather hurt
than to see other people in pain

What are the memories I'm missing?
Why do I remember differently than my friends? or my enemies?
Where are all the missing memories gone to?

He is the one who holds them all
He remembers my wrongs no more

He rejoices when I right my life
He sings love over me
He brings back my memory of Him

-luKe edwaRd DuchArme

When I remember...

A cloud moves in,

rain falls,

thunder strikes,

and sunshine breaks through the clouds

-BlindSide