a horde you say? of what? normally when you say a horde there's a group of something...the definition of a horde states something to that effect....what is the horde of?!!!!?
well there is no horde i just wanted to attract your attention to what i feel is a slightly less entertaining story... the story of my wallet(s)
The story of my wallet(s) goes as follows...
THE FIRST MORNING...
I wake up to my parents telling me that it's 930 and then about half an hour later i hear them leaving, i get up and after getting dressed and etc. i head to my car for the drive to church. I get in my my car noticing that i had locked my drivers door but at least two of the other doors were unlocked. I got into my car and shut the door. Your probably think 'why are you going into the detail of telling us that you shut the door, just tell us you got in the car...' well the minute i shut the door i noticed that the the 'door is ajar' light was still on. So I re shut it.. as i did so i realized that my glove box was open and there seemed to be something missing from it. It didn't quite clue in until i realized that the passenger door was ajar(while still being a door)
THE FIRST MORNING...
I wake up to my parents telling me that it's 930 and then about half an hour later i hear them leaving, i get up and after getting dressed and etc. i head to my car for the drive to church. I get in my my car noticing that i had locked my drivers door but at least two of the other doors were unlocked. I got into my car and shut the door. Your probably think 'why are you going into the detail of telling us that you shut the door, just tell us you got in the car...' well the minute i shut the door i noticed that the the 'door is ajar' light was still on. So I re shut it.. as i did so i realized that my glove box was open and there seemed to be something missing from it. It didn't quite clue in until i realized that the passenger door was ajar(while still being a door)
i realized then that the duct tape wallet which i kept Canadian tire money in was gone...and also my regular usage wallet which had my interact card and assorted other cards in it was also gone. I had come home the night before and left it in there for some stupid reason. I went back inside to check and see if my wallet was inside because I'm pretty bad for putting stuff down somewhere and not remembering where i put it. keys, cell phone, camera, i think that one of those when you whistle it beeps things would do me wonders (it would also probably drive me insane and cause me to throw something at someone) but anyways there was no luck my wallet was truly gone. I drove to church with the realization dawning on me that I HAD BEEN ROBBED!!!!
LATER THAT DAY...
After church I called the police and tried to report my wallet stolen. They told me to go down to the police station and do it there. The thing about where i live is that there is two of them. So i went to the closest one, after going through a ridiculous procedure of picking up a phone and telling them that i needed to get inside and waiting for the officer in the cold I was told to go to the other one. I went there and proceeded to report my wallet stolen. Everything in my wallet had to be listed.My wallet contained the following; a drivers license, an interact card, a climbing wall card certifying me to belay at the climbing centre, a discount card from one of my jobs, a calling card ..
(long distance which routes every call to my parents phone bill) an HMV gift card,(with 5 dollars on it) and my moms library card Also which i didn't report stolen (because i forgot it was in there) was my student I.D from when and where i was a student. I also report my wallet made entirely out of duct tape missing... Any ways i finish that then head to my work place to report my discount card stolen so that i can get another one and so that some guy doesn't try and get 18% discount off something. Finishing that i drive home. All of this driving is technically illegal because i haven't got a new license because there closed Sundays and my license is not with me cause someone stole it
THE FOLLOWING DAY...
I get up early and before work call my bank and cancel my interact card. Fortunately my credit card was not in my wallet and thus i did not report it stolen. I the make plans to go get a new license. I call the license place and they tell me its 24 dollars. I say to my self 'self you don't have 24 dollars' I also realized i couldn't with drawl cash because well guess where my interact card is. So i borrow 20$ from my mom (who has to go to the bank and get it.) and head to the vehicle registry there i find out i need 2 pieces of id.d to get my one piece of id. The police report only counts as one. So i drive BACK home and find my credit card. Then when its time to pay. They ask 'on your credit card?' and i say no, because on the back of my credit card i have written see photo i.d. and why do you think I'm standing in front of you? So i payed for my license and from there proceeded home to change and get ready for work...
LATER THAT DAY...
I come home from work to find my wallet laying on the counter. I ask my mom where did my wallet come from and she said 'well when two wallets really love each other...' I'm kidding my mom didn't say that she told me that a guy from down the street called and told my mom he had my wallet. I called my job and told them that i found it and then realized that i had already paid for a new license. Curse my ambitiousness that morning!!!- i thought... o well at least now I have three drivers licenses one that's cracked in four pieces (that's another story for another time) the second one is the one i lost and found again. and the third is that temporary piece of paper they give you. i will destroy the second on and the one in four pieces ...well that's technically already destroyed and a 300 dollar fine for using(but again that's another story for another time)
THE NEXT DAY...
I went to the police station to report my wallet 'unstollen' and after the desk Sergeant dealing with computers and having to get a supervisor to show him what to do( it reminded me of me at my job) i was on my was with a plan to go buy socks with the money I had gotten from my parents for cashing a govt check. (Those govt checks always seem to come in at the most appropriate times...)
i went to work as usual and had a regular today celebrating with some of my co workers that my wallet was found. The only thing missing by the way was my interact card which i had cancelled. And they (as in head office) were going to send me a new discount card so soon ill have two and be queen of summer time... I mean king! speaking of such quotes my friend Maria and Josh dropped by work the other day...(when my wallet was still missing) and we had good times chatting about England, and Robert Munsch..her story about him was good i laughed, i cried... it moved me.... bob was my roommate who is now married and consequently is not my roommate anymore. but i digress...
LATER THAT DAY...
i came home from work and on the answering machine was a call from blockbuster video saying that they had my wallet made entirely out of duct tape (minus the Canadian tire money) how did they know it was my wallet. Well who ever found it had discovered the expired blockbuster card that i kept in there for no reason. Mainly because I was to lazy and forgetful to take it out. I went there to get it but they were closed so i shook my fist in anger and vowed to try again the next day...
THE NEXT DAY...
LATER THAT DAY...
After church I called the police and tried to report my wallet stolen. They told me to go down to the police station and do it there. The thing about where i live is that there is two of them. So i went to the closest one, after going through a ridiculous procedure of picking up a phone and telling them that i needed to get inside and waiting for the officer in the cold I was told to go to the other one. I went there and proceeded to report my wallet stolen. Everything in my wallet had to be listed.My wallet contained the following; a drivers license, an interact card, a climbing wall card certifying me to belay at the climbing centre, a discount card from one of my jobs, a calling card ..
(long distance which routes every call to my parents phone bill) an HMV gift card,(with 5 dollars on it) and my moms library card Also which i didn't report stolen (because i forgot it was in there) was my student I.D from when and where i was a student. I also report my wallet made entirely out of duct tape missing... Any ways i finish that then head to my work place to report my discount card stolen so that i can get another one and so that some guy doesn't try and get 18% discount off something. Finishing that i drive home. All of this driving is technically illegal because i haven't got a new license because there closed Sundays and my license is not with me cause someone stole it
THE FOLLOWING DAY...
I get up early and before work call my bank and cancel my interact card. Fortunately my credit card was not in my wallet and thus i did not report it stolen. I the make plans to go get a new license. I call the license place and they tell me its 24 dollars. I say to my self 'self you don't have 24 dollars' I also realized i couldn't with drawl cash because well guess where my interact card is. So i borrow 20$ from my mom (who has to go to the bank and get it.) and head to the vehicle registry there i find out i need 2 pieces of id.d to get my one piece of id. The police report only counts as one. So i drive BACK home and find my credit card. Then when its time to pay. They ask 'on your credit card?' and i say no, because on the back of my credit card i have written see photo i.d. and why do you think I'm standing in front of you? So i payed for my license and from there proceeded home to change and get ready for work...
LATER THAT DAY...
I come home from work to find my wallet laying on the counter. I ask my mom where did my wallet come from and she said 'well when two wallets really love each other...' I'm kidding my mom didn't say that she told me that a guy from down the street called and told my mom he had my wallet. I called my job and told them that i found it and then realized that i had already paid for a new license. Curse my ambitiousness that morning!!!- i thought... o well at least now I have three drivers licenses one that's cracked in four pieces (that's another story for another time) the second one is the one i lost and found again. and the third is that temporary piece of paper they give you. i will destroy the second on and the one in four pieces ...well that's technically already destroyed and a 300 dollar fine for using(but again that's another story for another time)
THE NEXT DAY...
I went to the police station to report my wallet 'unstollen' and after the desk Sergeant dealing with computers and having to get a supervisor to show him what to do( it reminded me of me at my job) i was on my was with a plan to go buy socks with the money I had gotten from my parents for cashing a govt check. (Those govt checks always seem to come in at the most appropriate times...)
i went to work as usual and had a regular today celebrating with some of my co workers that my wallet was found. The only thing missing by the way was my interact card which i had cancelled. And they (as in head office) were going to send me a new discount card so soon ill have two and be queen of summer time... I mean king! speaking of such quotes my friend Maria and Josh dropped by work the other day...(when my wallet was still missing) and we had good times chatting about England, and Robert Munsch..her story about him was good i laughed, i cried... it moved me.... bob was my roommate who is now married and consequently is not my roommate anymore. but i digress...
LATER THAT DAY...
i came home from work and on the answering machine was a call from blockbuster video saying that they had my wallet made entirely out of duct tape (minus the Canadian tire money) how did they know it was my wallet. Well who ever found it had discovered the expired blockbuster card that i kept in there for no reason. Mainly because I was to lazy and forgetful to take it out. I went there to get it but they were closed so i shook my fist in anger and vowed to try again the next day...
THE NEXT DAY...
After work at my meat moving job i went to blockbuster and claimed my wallet. by the way i didn't actually shake my fist in anger etc. it just sounded poetic...Then i came home and proceeded to tell the story to every one reading this ...and that brings us to now
'we've fast forwarded to now sir... well what happened to then? we passed it! when? just now! When will then be now? soon!...' So tomorrow i should head to the police office and report my other wallet unstolen.
'we've fast forwarded to now sir... well what happened to then? we passed it! when? just now! When will then be now? soon!...' So tomorrow i should head to the police office and report my other wallet unstolen.
My losses in this adventure: Time and gas, an interact card, 26$$ worth of Canadian tire money, $24.54 -for a new license, and my trust in the people that live in this town
My gains: a more concentrated reminder to lock my car doors and not leave valuable things in it, a new drivers license, a fool proof way to save money, (can't get it- cant spend it!) and a renewed appreciation and respect for life. (not really it just sounded cool and i needed something like that to finish the thought)
a made up story of a horde possibli to follow...or if real horde story happens then I'll tell about it
My gains: a more concentrated reminder to lock my car doors and not leave valuable things in it, a new drivers license, a fool proof way to save money, (can't get it- cant spend it!) and a renewed appreciation and respect for life. (not really it just sounded cool and i needed something like that to finish the thought)
a made up story of a horde possibli to follow...or if real horde story happens then I'll tell about it
in the mean time check out this link that tells about my friends in Thailand..(there is lots of them so they could be considered a horde)
1 comment:
hi luke
welcome aboard. crazy story though. wow.
anyways i just wanted to hi and thank you for allowing every ounce of your personality to come through your writing. you are hilarious. but you already knew that so i won't bore you with details that you already knew. hahahahahahhahahahha.
cheers
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