When My Time Comes... And Other Confessions

I remember I once wrote a post about 'the death holiday.' It seems so very long ago that February brought its cold and Valentine's. What seems like an eternity has passed since then; since the days of my posting at least twice a week, camp has come and gone, decisions have been made, battles lost and won, and now I'm back with constant Internet access and time enough to blog.
This past week went by rather quickly it seems like just yesterday I was tie shopping enjoying my Sunday off
The week before however...dragged by. Maybe it was because it was payday on the Friday and I was planning on buying stuff like a laptop but it was slow.
During that week I watched a fair amount of t.v. A friend borrowed me season one of 'dead like me.' It's about a girl that gets hit by a toilet seat from a space station and dies and some how becomes a grim reaper taking souls from people just before they die. It has many interesting things to say about the after life and what said life entails. It is an amusing show. I don't want to debate the ethics of the show but watching it i started thinking more about the after life.
As Christians we believe that our life after death is going to be an eternity of worshiping Christ.
Or concept of heaven is slightly obscured -now we see through a dim glass and all that - and sometimes I and people i know get the idea of singing songs and essentially having church for all of eternity.
I don't feel that's accurate.
For one thing God is there, God is also in church but we are more truly in Gods presence there and its continuous, eternal even.
What really gives me hope is that there is no more sorrow, sin or shame. No more sadness...tears maybe but no more sadness...
I wont need to worry about, laptops and cell phones and the things I've done wrong. I will feel no regret, or guilt just love...
I will spend forever feeling loved...
That's what I hope heaven will be like
no fear, no hate, no worry, no frustration,
There has been a few select moments in my life, when I felt I was truly worshipping.
I find it hard to truly worship in the context of music in church because of who i am, both as a musician and someone who is conscious of what other people are doing and thinking. Whether I'm evaluating the stage presence of the band or worrying about something in my life, Un-confessed sin or a current problem or watching the drummer thinking if I could do better or watching other people or wondering what said other people are thinking of me- i can rarely let everything go and truly be in Gods presence... so when it happens its usually fairly memorable. Those to me are little snap shots of what the after life will be for me. Perfect peace and comfort without the regret of a past summer, fear of the coming winter, anticipation of the approaching spring or the worry of the fall...

I'll leave you with;
A welcome to share thoughts you may have on the subject
Apologies for my thoughts being rather disordered
A favourite verse of mine concerning heaven

Revelation 21:25
In the daytime (for there will be no night there) its gates will never be closed;

-luKe